03 Mar 2015

Fantiserar lite om vad Kung Fadh egentligen skrev till regeringen. Nu tycks brevet blivit hemligstämplat, men man kan förstås gissa.

 

Dear Mr Löfven,

As you know, being "stoned" is not the same in Sweden as in Saudi Arabia. And while I cover up my women, you have to cover up for yours - especially Åsa Romson and Alice Bah.

Differences aside, I believe we have much in common. I really love your Carl Gustaf and - not to get things wrong - I mean the weapon, not the King. I like your King too, of course. But not in that way, you know - that is not allowed here in Saudia Arabia. But his son is awfully good looking, I must admit.

By the way, do you remember that Memorandum of Understanding that your defense minister Leni Björklund signed some years ago? Back in the old days, when Sweden was ruled as a Social Monarchy. But then there were some kind of military coup in Sweden, was is not? And the new government fucked everything up. Didn´t even manage to fix that weapons factory we agreed upon.

But now I understand your family is back in power. Glad to hear. The dynasty dates back to 1932, right? That's not bad. And your predecessor Göran Persson were also much in favour of political stability, wasn´t he?

My family have ruled the Saudi kingdom since 1744. To gain power we had to join the fundamentalists - the Wahhabists. And, as I understand, you had to do that too this time around. They are called Miljöpartister in Sweden, correct?

Here in Saudi we have a lot of opposition these days. Annoying, isn´t it. Have any advice on bloggers? Is flogging too lean a punishment for you? I´ve heard you lock them up in your castle "LO-borgen" and make them tweet party propaganda. I like that, actually.

All well, and I hope we meet soon. And don´t forget to bring your fundamentalist colleagues in the government along when you visit us in Mekka. Though our fundamentalists are fundamentally different, I think they would have much to talk about. I´ve read their holy book - the yearly report from the Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change (IPCC) and I really like it. A lot of scentifically dubious statements decided by people that can´t be questioned.

Yours,

King Fahd

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